St.Patricks day is celebrated on 17th march every year in the remembrance of St. Patrick, a patron saint of Ireland. This day is celebrated along with friends, families and relatives by attending service, parades and parties. St Patricks Day is a jolly and fun filled festival, where everyone is happy and sharing the joy that this day brings. St Patricks Day is an Irish festival, and this festival mirrors the Irish spirit and culture in its celebrations. On this day people greet each other with Irish quotes and greetings, recite Irish poems and share St Patricks Day jokes that have everyone laughing.

Sharing funny St. Patrick’s Day jokes with friends and family on this day is a great way of keeping everyone entertained. St patricks jokes are also a great way of breaking the ice with someone you have just met at the pub or at a party. You can also use these St Patricks day one liner jokes to entertain your guests and set a light hearted and festive mood for your party.

You can use these jokes for St Patricks day to write out funny greeting cards for friends or even use these jokes to personalize your party invitation cards. You can use these funny St. Patricks Day jokes to bring a smile on everyone’s face bring smile on the face especially on St. Patrick’s Day.

Here we have a collection of clean St Patricks Day jokes you to read and share with friends:

St Patricks Day Jokes

Patches O’hoolihan was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent’s hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After Patches read it, he turned to the agent and asked,

“Have I got all ye say there?”

The agent said, “Certainly ye have…Why d’ye ask?”

Replied Patches O’hoolihan, “Cancel the sale…’tis too good to part with.”


Once an Irishman, an Englishman and Cindy Craford were sitting in a carriage, in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.

Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Cindy Craford and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened, while the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.

The Englishman was thinking: “The Irish fella must have kissed Cindy Craford, and she missed him and slapped me instead.”

Cindy Craford was thinking: “The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.”

The Irishman was thinking: “This is great! The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make another kissing noise and slap that English idiot again.”


Bruce, an American tourist, asked his friend Patches O’hoolihan, ‘Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?’ To which Patches O’hoolihan replies, ‘If they fell forwards they’d still be in the flippin’ boat.’


“Seamus was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over.

“What’s wrong, O’ riley?” Seamus asked.

“Well didn’t ya know, Seamus, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?” said O’ riley.

“Ah, praise the Almighty!” Seamus replied with relief. “I thought I’d gone deaf!”


Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser.”

“Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.”

Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. “I told him St. Patrick was a loser, and he didn’t care.” The second Englishman remarked, “You just don’t know how to set him off…watch and learn.” So, the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was lying, cheating, idiotic, low-life scum!”

“Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.”

Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies. “You’re right. He’s unshakable!”

The third Englishman remarked, “Boys, I’ll really tick him off… just watch.” So the third Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!”

“Yeah, that’s what your buddies were trying to tell me.”